Customer Collaboration- 2021 — Week 1- It’s My Fault Really

Art Credit: Tim FitzGerald, @decelorator

Me? I’ve been a spice seller, school supply peddler, art apparel sales woman, tutor, ice cream scooper, carnie, barista, hostess, waitress, assistant, manager and director (in that order).

I’ve noticed that things I can’t make up seem to happen all-the-time. These are my stories.

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It’s my fault really, I booked a Dentist Appointment.

7:40am: Attempt to leave house for Dentist Appointment. Find flat tire. No big deal, can use other car and can call AAA later. Am still on time to the Dentist. Why the Dentist? Apparently, I’m a bit of a stress bucket and have been grinding and chipping my tiny teeth.

8:17am: Dentist uber numbs me. Leaves me to “set”. I grab my purse. I open my purse and unlock my electric leash.

8:18am: Electric leash starts screaming at me. Three different varieties of communication. Email, Texts, Calls.

8:20am: I quickly answer, glad I’ve almost finished a presentation, let the 8 people on the email know that I will send out something by noon. I do not know how long this Dental Appointment will take. Let one contact know that I’m literally in the dentist chair.

No one cares.

8:21am: Boss texts to let me know that he has also received texts, calls, emails.

8:23am: I literally start to drool right as the Dentist pops his head in and asks me,

“Are you numb?”

I think to myself, “Not numb enough.”

I say, “Yes, I’m drooling.”

9:22am: Finish with Dentist, get in socially distanced line to pay. See that customer booked a meeting at 10am. With me. With my boss.

9:23am: Quickly text Boss that I will send the presentation in 22 minutes.

9:44am: Boss, “Where is the presentation located?”

9:45am: After driving home and “snow white” flail running to my house, I gently throw my computer on, finish presentation and send email. Text Boss, “sent”. <In case you had not noticed, the original Disney Princesses always flail when running.>

10:00am: Join call. Still drooling. When asked to confirm I was on the call, said, “I’m hewer.” I’ve spent a great deal of time proving my business savvy. Sounding like a 4-year-old wasn’t on my list of things to do today.

10:01am: Boss jumps-in to save me and mentions I had a Dental procedure this morning and cannot talk. Everyone laughs. I guess I talk a lot. Customer jokes about me having the “good drugs”. I’m suddenly disappointed that I do not have the “good drugs”.

10:02am: I proceed with drooling. Say 42 words on the call, part of which is, “I’m sowwy, I really can’t talk”.

10:03am-7:02pm: Follow-up on whatever it is I do for a living.

7:03pm: Remember car is still sitting with flat outside my house.

While I really did just want 72 minutes of personal time this morning and while I did book the first Dentist Appointment of the day, and while I did enjoy chatting with my co-workers with a numb tongue, and while I did not enjoy burning my tongue on a noodle; I do think that the customer has me being tracked at all times.

Today though?

It’s my fault really, I booked a Dentist Appointment.